Departed

I am both paralyzed and restless, my mind does not stop for fear yet does not move for the same fear that will drag me under. When I am not gasping for air I breathe deeply, trying to take in some small sign of life and yet my chest is empty. My skeleton and my … More Departed

With me

He is with me. When I open my eyes, When I sleep at night, When I take the first step outside that leaves me breathless with fear.   He is with me. When I smile or when I choke back tears that refuse to fall the way they used to, now that I am numb. … More With me

Are You…?

Are you the man that stole my body, your given right as a man stronger than me?   Are you the man that took my right to walk down my street the moment you followed me, refusing to let me slip away?   Are you the man that with his touch made me ashamed, afraid … More Are You…?

My name is…

My name is Sarah Carlisle. I don’t know who I am or why I am here. I am mental illness, I am trapped, I am barely breathing. My name is Sarah Carlisle. Sarah Carlisle means unworthy, unloveable, unfit, unwell. Sarah Carlisle is defined by within, the demons that unwittingly eat away at all that Sarah … More My name is…

Heartbreak

I never knew love until I knew heartbreak. Love was agony. More than the throbbing pain in my head, more than knowing that I would never fit in, never be free. For once you have known love, you have known true loss when it goes away. When you realise that love was what you had … More Heartbreak

Rain

How I loved to watch the sky let the rain fall and drip delicately against my window. I longed to be like those tiny droplets- free and unpredictable. The weatherman hardly ever got the weather right and I longed to be the unexpected storm- powerful and beautiful in its surprise.