My name is…

My name is Sarah Carlisle. I don’t know who I am or why I am here. I am mental illness, I am trapped, I am barely breathing. My name is Sarah Carlisle. Sarah Carlisle means unworthy, unloveable, unfit, unwell. Sarah Carlisle is defined by within, the demons that unwittingly eat away at all that Sarah … More My name is…

Heartbreak

I never knew love until I knew heartbreak. Love was agony. More than the throbbing pain in my head, more than knowing that I would never fit in, never be free. For once you have known love, you have known true loss when it goes away. When you realise that love was what you had … More Heartbreak

Imploding

Implosion. A simple word to describe something collapsing into itself. In many ways mental illness is a type of implosion. Whether the pressure comes internally, externally, or a mixture of both, the feeling of eroding from the inside out is inescapable. When this feeling stabilises for a while, you can start to feel like a … More Imploding

Happiness

In a world of pain and suffering, why wouldn’t we all be obsessed with the illusion of bliss and freedom? Initially I saw happiness as an unattainable luxury, a state that keeps us naively alive with the promise of a better world that will never exist. While it is true that moments of happiness in … More Happiness

Emerging

We cannot see the light but when we are emerging from the eternal darkness. Challenging times reveal true love more than any other. To have never felt pain and suffering is to never have felt true happiness and relief or true love and friendship. While the darker aspects of human nature often prevail, humans will … More Emerging

Whisper

Wind whispers to me, Telling me all I should see, The sky, the trees, the beautiful sun, Streaming down the barrel of my gun. “Life,” it says “life is out there.” But I am trapped, my soul laid bare. “Pick me up!” I scream and choke, It says “I’ve heard this from other folk,” “My … More Whisper