The Fight

Some days I don’t feel like I can keep fighting. My body has given up on my mind and everything that I am or ever was no longer matters. Soon enough I’m bargaining with the darkness, yet no way out seems sufficient to clear away the clouds. Why do I carry on with this fight? Why do I always feel so alone? I am filled with love for some amazing people in this world, yet symbiotically filled with self-hatred.  It is as though I have been through some sunny days but know that I will never hold off the storm. Maybe I don’t know how to exist anymore.

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2 Replies to “The Fight”

  1. Thoughts of another fighter.

    I have had sunny days and stormy ones. I often thought that this fight was worthless, that maybe those sunny days were made by the stormy ones to taunt me. Over time I have come to appreciate the stormy days because they make the sunny ones so much better. Everything ends and that is what makes it worth the effort. So I continue to fight not to hold of the storm but to make the time before it so much better and when the time comes I will welcome the storm as an old friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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